This will be a mixed blog…part Whole30 and part other stuff.
I’m on day 15 of my Whole30. It’s all downhill now! Its not really hard for me to eat out now. And at this point, nothing is really ‘worth it’ to cheat on my Whole30. I’m sure when Christmas day comes, it will be much, much harder but at that point, I will only have 5 days left and I am SURE not breaking down then!! Not much more to say than from the other day when I posted.
…And I’m still craving ruffles and french onion dip….
Other goings on…
Went to Buca di Beppo last night for our bible study group Christmas party. I secretly (well, not so secretly now) hate these types of things. I’m around a bunch of girls I sort of know and a few girls that I don’t know at all. This makes me so, so nervous. I’m always self conscious about how I look, what I say, where I stand (and considering we just finished a study on insecurity…its a little ironic I was feeling this way). And, on top of not really knowing anyone very well, I more/less brought attention to myself with my Whole30 eating (I ate something completely different from everyone else). So, that made me even more nervous. I stumbled over words and stuttered and repeated myself way too many times unnecessarily because I was so nervous about explaining how I eat and why without getting it wrong or starting too much of a questions game or a soap box game (for instance, specifically why I don’t eat dairy (specifically milk), most legumes, grains or *gasp* corn products!)
Why do I make mountains out of molehills? Why do I feel like these amazing, fun, sweet, wonderful girls are judging me? I’m not really sure.
I wish I was the type that could jump right in on their conversations about kids, India, cool thrift finds, art, God, religion, music…but…I just don’t know what to say.
I’m just in a strange place in my life (I know this does not sound related but it is related. I might get more into that later…). I’m between the ‘old times’ and ‘now’ and it is nearly impossible for me to meld the two into one and I suppose I can’t. But I keep jumping back and forth between ‘then’ and ‘now.’ I wish I could just stay in ‘now.’ But ‘now’ is a little lonely with the exception of my family and a couple good friends.
Well…my journey will continue to get more in the ‘now’ and less in the ‘then’ so bear with me.
Until next time….Happy Whole30 hump day!!!